Picture it; a cold January morning around 9 am, I’m awakened from a very peaceful sleep to the sound of my text message chime. I look at the phone, the message is titled, “Good Morning”. I thought, hmm, how sweet, a good morning text. I open the message and there pops out an ashy black dick. Sigh…here we go again, yet another unsolicited dick pic from a man I am not dating. I didn’t ask for this morning “greeting” and I’m pretty sure unsolicited pictures were to be left in 2013, no? I didn’t even have it in me to respond to this foolishness, I just deleted the message and decided that today is a no phone Sunday. I don’t want to hear or see any messages from anyone today, turn the power off and put the phone in the nightstand, yes, it’s like that.
Listen, I am so, so tired. These last couple of years my attempts at “dating” and playing the getting to know you game have been futile at best. I’ve been beyond disappointed, lied to in abundance, and countless time been caught up in someone’s mess as they’ve tried to “figure out’ what they really wanted. I’ve written before about the Invitations to Crazy that men have tried to extend to me, and I’ve gladly RSVP’d with a resounding NO THANK YOU! I’m beginning to think I have a stamp on my forehead that only attracts the unavailable, the liars, and the ones who want to know how my p*ssy works before they know my last name. But then I come to my senses, it’s not me, because once I see what it is that you’re about, I bow out, I don’t want to play in your reindeer games.
If you are unavailable, meaning married, involved, living with, got a girl (but only when you want to claim her) please, exit stage left. I am not interested in getting to know someone else’s man. If you’re that unhappy, why do you stay? And more importantly, why do you think I would be the one to help you make the decision to leave your shitty situation? NO, work that out with your priest, your therapist, your mama, someone else who is not me. Karma is a mutha, trust and believe I know this. I have not always said NO to unavailable men, and it has come back to bite me in my ample ass, I know better, so I choose to do and be better.
I love sex just as much as the next woman, but that is not all that I have to offer. Let me repeat this, SEX IS NOT ALL THAT I HAVE TO OFFER. It is not what I put on the table and present to you first. I do not expect for a man that I am interested in to whip it out and show it off after the first conversation. Please, stop this. What else do you have to say, other than how sexy I am (duh, like I don’t know this already). If we’re having a conversation and every other sentence is about my lips, bro, I need you to step it up, please and thank you. Have you any idea how appealing and sexy it is to be able to have and hold an REAL conversation with someone? How intoxicating it is to spend time with someone who has a brilliant mind? Stop asking me what “that mouf do” and ask what do I THINK? Getting to know me mentally and emotionally will open up so many other doors, trust me on this.
Please don’t get all that I said confused and think that I am done with men, and I’m over them etc… .that is not the case at all. I BELIEVE in love, in true honest to goodness, from the soul love. I know it is possible, I see it every day in couples that I know have that kind of connection and friendship. I know it is possible for me to have as well. I don’t make New Year’s resolutions; this isn’t what’s happening here. What this is is me realizing that what I may have entertained in the past has gotten me nowhere, and the game gets old after a while. I want something more, something big, something different. I have to adjust my mindset and make it known to those who come my way with their sh*t that I’m not here for it. I’m opening myself up to the real thing, not just the temporary something to do in the meantime thing.
So, here is my RSVP, for the “I bet you taste good, um, what did you say your name was again”, the “let me come chill at your house on the 1st date ninjas”, the “I don’t have a girlfriend, per se”, the “she’s my wife but we’ve been having mad problems these last few years” kind of guys, No thank you, I don’t accept.